DON'T DEPRIVE ME OF MY WOMANHOOD!!!

I saw this on facebook, and couldn't help stealing it, with the intention on building a post on it.. Please read and enjoy :D

To the management of the University of Ibadan!

My name is Seun Ijeoma Fatai and I'm a Nigerian woman. When I was 10 my parents sent me to a boarding school to do my secondary education. There I learnt to keep my belongings in order, be neatly dressed and keep my head high among my mates. I spent minimum of 9 months in a year in school. Each time I got home my mother wouldn't let me light the gas cooker because I was small and couldn't handle it. So, all I did in the kitchen was to wash the dishes after each meal and very few times did the

blending of the ingredients to help mum out.

                       

I clocked 16 on 28th August, 2011 and my birthday gift was my Admission letter from the University of Ibadan. The day I left home my mother told me, "My daughter go to school and build yourself; read, keep away from mischievous boys and of course master your cooking skill so that you will be a woman capable of keeping a home. Go my daughter and represent the totality of a woman".

  

                           

             

Now, I've barely spent one year in the University of Ibadan and I've been asked to stop cooking. 

Ha! What do they want to make of me? My mother always said, "An educated man who doesn't feed well have defeated the aim of his education". When will I perfect my cooking? Where do I go to learn the varieties of meals and their making? I have 6 years to spend in U.I as a veterinary student, I will be 24 when I graduate, serve my country and come out 25 years! Dear readers, I will be so ripe for marriage by then!!! When do I learn to cook when I'm tired? So I can still make food for my husband and children even when I come home tired from work. I've heard stories of men who eat outside (cafeteria) and end up with the waiter as a second wife. I NEVER WANT TO BE A FIRST WIFE, I WANT TO BE THE ONLY WIFE!!! When I look at some ladies who are happy that cooking is barned

simply because their boyfriends will pay all their bills, I see what my University is turning my country into. I see a situation were we give white man the job to do and pay through our noses because we are too lazy to do the job ourselves. The reason there is a woman behind every successful man is that He does the thinking and he is so sure we will do the cooking. I want to place a meal on the table and watch him eat it with a smile of relief knowing that I made the food. But this my dream can't be achieved if I don't learn to cook now. :(.

I don't know all the details of the problem but I know there is a way to go round it.. Asking me not to cook is depriving me of my womanhood!!! I've got tears in my eyes but I know the good I want and I don't want to compromise that. I want to use my kerosene stove in the kitchenette... Can somebody

tell me how that affects the university?

My name is Seun Ijeoma Fatai, and I'm a Nigerian woman!

Lovely piece by Seun Ijeoma. That is the situation on ground in the prestigious "FIRST and the BEST". I don't have a problem with the ban (I could survive on junks),and I do have a problem with the ban (I can't be eating junks, or eating out, for a whole session), as a student, my pocket has its limits.

It would be selfish thinking about only myself, there are lots of students in school who do not and cannot eat out. There are some who wouldn't be able to afford the proposed "150 per meal", three consecutive times a day. From the information I got this yesterday evening, they resolved to allow cooking with only stoves and camp gases (no hot plates) be allowed in the kitchenette. (That empty room, with cupboards, and a smelling sink close to the toilet). Its worse, but half bread is better than none.

PS: For peeps suggesting protestin, please let me graduate first, then you can protest. The labour market  isn't  smiling at federal school graduates, and its grinning at graduates from private schools.

#team2013 

:D

Till i write another blogpost, 

Yours_Sincerely.

xoxo

Read More

Our language, Our Identity, Our Heritage

Happy new year, people!!!!!. If you are reading this post, it means you made it to the new year. How was your Christmas and cross over, hope it was fab. Mine was just there, I spent my cross over in the church, had a spirit filled crossover.

So, back to the title of the post. Our language, is our pride, our identity, our heritage. Wikipedia defines language as, " the human capacity for acquiring and using complex systems of communication. A language is any specific example of such a system".  The number of languages currently estimated and cataloged in Nigeria is 520. This number includes 510 living languages, two second languages without native speakers and 9 extinct languages. The major languages spoken in Nigeria are Yoruba, Hausa, Igbo, Fulfulde, Kanuri, and Ibibio.(The four latter languages are going into extinction). 

Our languages are going into extinction, yep they are slowly dying, and our generation doesn't give a hoot about it. Our kids think its uncool to speak their mother tongue, all of them trying to compete with their mates in "who speaks better British English". Our parents do not speak their languages to their kids. They all speak English to their kids. They feel speaking their mother tongue to their little kid is a taboo. What we fail to understand is this: these kids learn faster when they are younger. If you communicate to them in your mother tongue, they tend to grab the words you say to them. Kids that learn to speak their mother tongue at a very young age, tend to understand the lexis and structure of other languages. 

My neighbors 5 year old daughter, can't speak her mother tongue(which is Igbo), She doesn't even understand a single word in Igbo  When I try to communicate in Igbo, all I get in return is a blank stare. The funny aspect is that she speaks prefect flawless Yoruba. When, i asked her mom, she said "they do no understand me when I speak Igbo, so I do not bother, they would learn it when they grow up". 

Parents, teach your kids to speak your mother tongue. They would definitely learn English in school, and Yoruba (or any other language from their environment . Whenever, I hear/meet parents communicating with their kids in English, I try to educate them to speak their mother tongue to their children, because that is when their brain would assimilate these languages. An example is me :D. My mom speaks Igbo once in a while at home(when my dad drops into a conversation and scolds us to speak Igbo). I had my secondary education in the east,and I was teased mercilessly for not being able to speak Igbo. Igbo language class was the best time to sleep. I picked up bits and pieces of different Igbo dialects.(thanks to my SS3 roommates that were from different states, and spoke totally incorrigible Igbo dialects, they all claimed "its my dialect"). I  learnt to speak mine and formed the same too :D

Here is a bit of a conversation, I had with my uncle on New Years day. It was in Igbo, but I would translate to English, and switch to English at some point.

Me: Happy new year, kedu ka i mere, kedu maka ndi uno? ( how are you, how is everyone at home)

Uncle: A ri mma, I n'agwu kwa? (they are fine, hope you are reading?)

Me: Ehh (Yes)

Uncle: Nke a, i n'asuru m asusu ndi onitsha, i makwa asu asusu ndi be gi? (This one you are speaking the onitsha dialect, hope you can speak your own dialect?)

Me: Uncle, its the one I can speak, that I would speak now ehh.

Uncle: You see when I told your mom, to speak Igbo to you and your sisters, when you were younger, she wouldn't. Anyway, don't bring an Onitsha man home, or a Yoruba man, this one you are schooling in the west. Your brother married a Yoruba woman, if you bring back one ehh, I would lock you outside.

Me: *rme* Uncle, I am at the bottom of the queue, I still have many females cousins ahead of me oo, and Ada too (my elder sis), go and disturb them, when it gets to my turn, you can start to disturb me.  I wouldn't disappoint you, I would bring a French man home or better still a Mexican  so you would have cute relatives with long flowing bohemian hair....hehehehe.

I cut the call, before he could comment. :D. Nice me.

Have a fabulous year people. I am back, stay tuned to this blog.

Life is beautiful.

Yours_Sincerely

xoxo

Read More

THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE

Happy new month people!!!! *dancing*. It's the most colourful month of the year, where you see red, white and green colours, with lots of goodies. I love this month, always reminds me, there is a whole new year out there waiting for you to grip it by the horns.

                                           

*clears the cobweb in the room*. X_X...I know you weren't expecting me soon. I even thought I had closed down too. Anyways, I am back, not fully tho, I might stroll in and stroll out occassionally.
How is has your year been so far? To all those that made new year resolutions for the year 2012, how did it go?...well mine went as usual, after week 2, its back to square one...
As for next year, don't ask me about NYR(new year resolutions), cos i am sure i would have none, i might just have a few goals carried over for the year 2013 :D.

So back to my post, there was this group chat I had with my course mates (I swear, those guys are a funny bunch, they had me laughing all through), and this story came up. We criticized the girl, but then I felt she shouldn't take all the blame, as there were other parties involved. I have decided to throw it open, lets see who you stand with. Please feel free to comment :D

                                             
My name is Kamsi. I had this boyfriend back then in school. His name was George. George and I were a really cute couple. We won all the best couple awards there was to win.You never saw us without each other. We were like Siamese twins. We were in love, or maybe I was the only one in love.
You see, there are responsibilities both parties in a relationship have to consent to as adults, while dating. As much as I loved George, I wasn't ready for sex, so I begged him to understand, and asked to take things slow. George wasn't ready to listen, he always brought up the issue, and this always caused a fight between us. I loved George and wasn't ready to lose him. I could count a thousand and one girls ready to pounce on him if I made a wrong move. After much thought, I finally did what I had to do.

                                           
Chinenye was a good friend of mine. One who could keep a secret. I talked to her about George, and she advised I could hire a girl for George, who he would be *doing it* with. In her words, "Kamsi, I don't know why you are dulling yourself, if George wants it, and you refuse to give it to him, he would go looking elsewhere and then you would accuse him of being unfaithful. Since you are scared of him cheating, you could hire a babe to do it for you, while you watch. If the girl tries to do shady business behind you, just treat her fuck up". "Nenye you have got to be kidding me", I replied." Every girl would jump at the opportunity, besides I don't trust anyone to do it. Would you do it for me?, at least i trust you as a sister, am sure you could keep it a secret", I pleaded. After much cajoling and begging, Nenye agreed to do it for friends sake. The deal was settled. Nenye and George would do their thing in the room, while I stayed in the sitting room timing them while watching a movie.

                                         
With the noise they always made, I felt George was out to spite me. We still were a couple. Nenye and George still did it, while I timed them. Things became rocky. George started accusing me of being unfaithful (*rme*, seriously, dat dude is crazy). I was an extrovert and had so many male friends, i guess he was jealous cos I had more male friends than females. The females I had were based on trust. One thing led to another, from being a couple, we became two distant people in a relationship, waiting for the other to call it quits. I had my fill and took the front door the day George humiliated me in front of Nenye, after we had a quarrel. I called it quits and left.

Looking back, I wonder if what I did was wrong, after all I was in love and wanted  to save my relationship...

*whew* that was a long story. My people na so e take happen, no say na me tell you.
Was she wrong or right?, after all she did it for love....

Tilll my next post...xoxo

Read More

A DIRGE FOR THE MUMBI 40 AND ALUU 4

                              

                                                     

So I am listening to the song "If I die young" by THE BAND PERRY, as I write this post. It's a dirge to the souls of the youths lost in our bloody independence week. From the MUBI 40 killings to the ALUU 4 killings, to the massacre by army officials on Monday (It beats my imagination on how one would take up weapons and kill students calling them out  roll and killing them one by one).

Life is sacred. No one has the right to take another's life, everyone has a right to live. In a country like ours, I doubt if those words hold. Every day, we hear the news of killing sprees, bombing, murders etc, the list goes on and on. 

                               

                                                  

You begin to wonder what is going on, how and where it all went wrong. It all went wrong long ago, when our leaders locked themselves in a town's hall meeting at the palace and forgot they have a people to lead. When they steal our money and try to outsmart themselves in the game of thievery. When our leaders grew cold hearts and accused the youths of not being capable to lead. When they picked their successors and imposed them on us. When our leaders tell us to our face that there is nothing they can do save us from the floods ravaging our lands. When they looked into the camera and told the world lies about our country on our independence day, when our leaders fight tooth and nail and use swear words at themselves on national  television, when our leaders stole our money and bought houses in other countries and live large. When...The list goes on and on...

                                   

                                                 

Remember this song "parents listen to your children, we are the leaders of tomorrow....". The little children who sang this are the youths now been lynched, murdered, bombed, maimed, killed  after their wedding day. I am not here to debate and ask you to join the team #theyareinnocent or the team #theyareguilty, or the team #wewanttheirkillers, or team #humanrightactivisits. Parents strive to send their kids to school, then they pray they do not bury them before they turn gray.  The kids get married and are killed before they even get to enjoy their marital bliss. Those that survive are scared to send their own children to school in Nigeria, believing that a foreign land is safer and better. These children lose touch with their culture and tradition, they come back and label everything as barbaric and old school. As they return, their parents pray for a safe trip, hoping they do not fall form the sky in the Nigerian Air Space, and that the men of the underworld do not snatch them form their hands. And the circle goes round and round and round, never stopping for a second, throwing off those who fall in the race. 

A verse from the song "IF I DIE YOUNG " by THE  BAND PERRY, its dedicated to these youths who die every day from no fault of theirs...

If I die young, bury me in satin

Lay me down on a bed of roses

Sink me in the river at dawn

Send me away with the words of a love song

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother

She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors

Oh, and life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no

Ain't even gray, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life

Well, I've had just enough time.....

.......

.......

.......

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar

They're worth so much more after I'm a goner

And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singing

Funny, when you're dead how people start listening

                                        

                                    

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.....

But if you do it right ONCE is ENOUGH!!!!

Till I drop by again, its ....Yours_Sincerely

xoxo

Read More

IS IT ALL ABOUT THE MONEY, EXPERIENCE OR CONNECTION

                                      

                                                           

Hi everyone. Thanks for you all that checked up on me. "2 months and no blogging", talking to myself, "what was it I filled as my resolution for the last quarter of the year again?", checking my monthly planner, "write a post on my blog, once a week, every month". *rme*, I really wanted to  write a post, but I have been running helter skelter for my Industrial Training Attachment. Its been way too stressful, and to say I was on my own through out. Which brings me to my topic of discussion, is the Industrial Training / Internship programme all about the money, the experience or the connection?

                                        

                                                       

You know, there are jobs out there(qualified HR personnels would argue this out with you) and there are no jobs out there (as some people would argue too). If you get an opportunity to intern with a mutlinational company,get a good pay and make connections, even though you would be doing something totally out of your field or intern with a small unknown company, gain experience, don't get paid or paid peanuts, and have little or no connections, which would you choose? If you have ever interned in your life or you intend to intern, I would like you to drop a comment on this topic.

     

I promised to come up with an intern diary, but that hasn't been easy (I promise to come up with something more interesting, stay tuned :)). Before I got somewhere to intern, it was like hell. I was thinking, if it is this stressful to get an internship placement, job seeking would be a nightmare. You see, as a student and a potential intern, I was told your CV  has to be simple, you don't need to fill in all your acheivements. But from looking through CV's at my work place(I do these when I am less busy), dear readers, I learned you have to fill in every skill and achievement you have." If you don't blow your whistle no one would know how loud and useful it is and blow it for you". It also has to be in line with the intern programme you are searching for. I could go on and on, but that is a whole package, so stay tuned to my blog and expect surprises. :D

                                               

Back to where I was. During those long trips from one company on the island to another company on the mainland, all those calls, the dissapointments, the sudden love for inspirational books(the bible became my paddy), with all the fasting and praying. Then voila, two opportunities come, a small two room company and a multinational company. This got me thinking about the title of my post. I was a couple of weeks late, and one of the offers came with connections and a good pay, the other came with experience, little connections, and little or no pay. 

                                                                                                         

You might say as a individual its not all about the money, but the experience and adding colors to your CV, or you might say otherwise. So I asked around. I asked friends, family and aquintances. I got different opinions. Some said its the connection that matters, others said the pay and connections, while others said the experience and the knowledge.

Dear readers what do you say?

If you have ever worked as an intern, or are a potential intern then this post is for you. Drop your comments and opinions, you could help a confused brother :D.

PS: This post was written in a bus on my way back from work.(Its difficult typing with a phone, the words just keep rushing in, sometimes I have to pause and jot them down so I don't lose them).

XOXO...Be Good anyway
TILL I DROP ANOTHER POST, ITS ....Yours_Sincerely :D

Read More